Remembrance

This is a stitching blog but life happens we all know that! The last week has been frantic for lack of a better word. My niece is in the hospital back East, decisions and deciphering medical info long distance...... I love her so very much!!! I thought about flying back but she told me to stay put. Which I have done but part of me wants to be there.

And today is my sister Maureen's birthday or would have been...she passed away almost 16 years ago from lung cancer. Let me tell you a little about her....she was my big sister, a role she took very seriously! Actually she was more like a mother to me and my brothers! I didn't realize till her passing that she was my mirror as well... for things good, bad and everything inbetween. She had a great sense of humor which verged on the bizarre. She was amazing! When she got cancer instead of saying "why me" she said on numerous occasions "why not me, what makes me so special that I shouldn't have cancer." I'll never forget when she asked me to shave her head during the chemo to lessen the pain of seeing her hair falling out.....I cried but she just sat there waiting. So many memories came flooding back today......Let me explain the mirror comment I made above...if I can...it makes sense in my head.... she was my only sister so when I looked at her I knew without words and sometimes without expressions where I stood what was right, wrong , whatever. When she died I lost that no longer did I have a comparison a mirror a sister to look at and know in an instant what we shared. Even if she was telling me I was being silly or stupid or dramatic or anything at all. I miss the sound of her voice. I miss her desperately. I love you Maureen. This may not make any sense and maybe it's not supposed to, but I needed to write it down. I spoke to her today out at Red Rock Canyon.....granted it was onesided but I feel so connected to her there.....it brought me some peace. Thanks for reading through......if you did.